The Pablo Fawkes series
by Pablo Arthur Fawkes
Summary: Pablo is a fanfiction writer. He's also a bit of an arrogant prick. He finds himself caught in one wacky adventure after the other. Too bad he hates adventure, isn't it? (On Hiatus, except for when I feel like writing a dumb self-insert fanfic)
1. The Official Pablo University

Pablo tapped away at his laptop, writing his latest fanfiction. It was a serious story about hard drugs, drama, sadness, and cute pink ponies. There was no way he was the only person who had thought of this idea, but that's not what mattered to him. He needed to get this idea out of his head. it had been stuck there for four weeks before he had fleshed it out enough to get it planned out on a document.

As he typed, a small creak came from behind him. He turned around and three men in suits stood before him.

The man in front smiled at Pablo, possibly trying to calm him.

"Pablo Arthu..."

"Get the fuck out of my fucking house!" Pablo interrupted.

"Pablo, I am One..."

"Get out of my house, you cunt!"

"Just listen to me for a second," The man sighed, pinching the brige of his nose in annoyance, "We're from the Fanfiction University of Assorted Media."

Pablo's eyes widened, "Oh, I've heard of you. My friend was sent to the YouTube one. Just one question, though. Why the fuck are you in my fucking house?"

The man sighed again, "We're dropping off your enrolment forms. You made too many bad fanfics."

Pablo looked towards his laptop, and back to the man. "You now they're intentionally bad, right?"

"Do you have any idea how many people say that? Look, here are your forms, fill them in, you can talk to the headmaster when you get there."

Pablo took the folder from the man's hands. "Can you help me fill them in, just in case I need some clarification?"

"Fine... It's not like I have a life or anything." He turned to the other two, "You guys can leave, I'm sure I can handle this."

Ten minutes later, after arguing over the exact differences between the definitions of the terms "Race", "Ethnicity" and "Nationality", and whether the correct term is "white" "white British" or "Caucasian", the man just left and told Pablo not to worry about the forms.

* * *

Pablo awoke in a London Underground platform. There were hundreds of other people sitting around. They all looked very attractive, all with odd hair colours and clothes of the latest fashion. Pablo wore a shabby pair of slacks, a poorly fitting short-sleeved shirt, and a black tie. His shoes were barely held together by loose stitches and duct tape. The man who had been helping Pablo had probably chosen these clothes as a joke, not realising that this was his daily attire.

A train arrived after five minutes of waiting, Everyone else rushed towards the nearest door they could find, Pablo decided to wait. If there wasn't enough room, he'd catch the next one. After a few mimutes, the conductor walked to him and told him that there would be at least one free seat in the carrage opposite him. Pablo entered the carriage and the doors closed behind him. He walked through the aisle looking for a free seat and found that there was only one. It was a window seat, next to a seemingly thirteen year old boy with black hair, a trench-coat and pointed ears. Pablo squeezed past him and sat down in the free seat.

"Hi, I'm Daigon, who are you?" The emo vampire said.

"Pablo."

"Hey, what's your backstory? I'm a vampire that was thrown out his pack for refusing to drink blood. I look really young because we age really slowly."

"I'm a guy who lives in South London and writes for fun." Pablo said, closing his eyes and resting his head on the window.

"No, I mean your character."

"Oh, in that case, I'm a guy on his way to a university to tell them that, unlike every other fucker on this train, I know how to write competently."

"What?"

"Look, shut up. I want to preserve my intelligence for conversing with whatever idiot is in charge the uni we're going to."

Daigon stayed quiet for the duration of the trip.

* * *

When they arrived, They were escorted by a twenty-something Californian guy to the entrance of the university. Pablo had no clue who this guy was, but all of the teenage girls, 80% of the group, we're drooling over him. They walked through a few corridors and reached a set of double doors. As they opened, everyone walked in and took a seat near the back or middle of the room. As Pablo entered, he saw it was a large assembly hall. He walked to the third row from the front and sat near the middle. Pablo used this tactic to avert attention from himself, as most people look at the front, back and middle rows. Everyone else had elected to fill in from the back, meaning that there was an empty row of chairs between himself and the nearest occupied seat.

The head walked onto the stage. He was a twenty-something year old awkward mess, known colloquially as Dan Howell. His speech was stuttered and full of pauses. Pablo didn't pay any attention what he was saying as he was not planning on staying. He would get an appointment with the head and explain that his bad fanfictions were jokes, and that he was planning on releasing a well written fanfiction soon.

After twenty minutes, everyone had started to file towards a lion that Pablo guessed, and hoped, was Aslan. The large cat was handing out papers. Pablo followed the group as bitterly as possible. The papers he received were a timetable, a map and a room assignment.

Pablo walked to the student office to talk to the receptionist. As he got there, he noticed that the receptionist was, in fact, Bella Swan. Or rather, Kristen Stewart's version of Bella Swan.

"Hey," Pablo said "I need to talk to the head about my enrolment. Is there any chance of getting an appointment today?"

Bella bit her lip. "There isn't a free appointment until the end of next Friday."

"You mean to tell me," Pablo scowled, "That I have to go through fresher week, and then a week of classes, before I can talk to the head to discuss my enrolment?"

Bella continued to bite her lip. "Yes."

"Ugh, fine! I guess this isn't your fault. Just book me in at the first availability"

* * *

Pablo lay down in his bed. There was a knock at the door, which then opened. This must be Pablo's roommate.

Daigon walked in

"Oh, hey Pablo, how are you?"

"I was just thinking about how peaceful this room is. And now you're here." Pablo got up and walked to the only desk in the room.

"Hey, why didn't you go to the meet-up?"

"What?" Pablo said, pulling a book out of the draw under the desk.

"Yeah, we all had tea and talked to each other about our characters and stuff. It was really fun."

Pablo looked at the cover of the book in his hand, It was a compilation of Jane Austin novels. "How fascinating. I would say that sound like hell, but I'm sure I'll go through worse here."

Daigon looked at the book Pablo was holding. "Did you choose that book? I just let the guy in the suit choose for me, so I don't know what I've got."

"This is the only book in the draw." Pablo looked around the room for another draw. "Maybe you have to open the draw yourself to get yours."

Daigon opened the draw. He took out a copy of a manga version of Dracula.

"Aw, cool, I've wanted to read this. You can borrow it when I'm finished, if you want."

"I've read it."

"You read manga too?"

"I read classic novels."

* * *

After a few days of sitting around reading Jane Austin, and a few more with nothing to do but drink alone in the university pub, "Orc's bar", Pablo finally had his first class. Monday, at 10:00 AM, he had 'Basic punctuation and grammar'.

Pablo walked into the lecture hall and sat near the middle. He got ready to be underwhelmed. He took out a pen and a piece of paper. and waited for the lecturer to begin.

Miss Hoolie from Balamory walked to the podium in front of them.

"Hello everyone, today I'll be going over the curriculum for this year. If you have any questions, please wait until the end, and I'll..." she trailed off, as Pablo's arm shot into the air. "Okay, I can tell this is important, so I'll make one exception. What do you want to know?"

"Well, I don't need to be here. How can I pass this course in this one lesson?" Pablo asked.

Miss hoolie looked irritated, "You'd need to write a paragraph including correct grammar, as well as correct use of parenthesis, commas and at least one semicolon."

"Will do!" Pablo said and got to thinking of what he should write instantly. After two minutes, his hand shot back up, interrupting Miss Hoolies' speech on proper etiquette when using a laptop in a lecture.

"Please wait until the end." she said, clearly irritated at Pablo's interruptions and cocky personality.

"I've finished the paragraph, do want it now, or at the end?"

Miss hoolie motioned for Pablo to bring it to the front. He walked to her and handed her the piece of lined paper.

"Please read it out, with the punctuation." She said, staring at his outstretched hand.

"Diagon (my roommate) masturbates to the thought of several old men entering his body; he is not quiet at night. I wish to obtain earplugs, as I find it hard to sleep with an edgy thirteen year old's screams in the same room. Also, he talks about a fictional drug which he calls "wood". I am convinced that he is simply a closeted homosexual, however, I may be mistaken."

Diagon, sitting in the first row, started blushing. "I'm eighteen, not thirteen..." he mumbled under his breath.

Miss Hoolie scowled. "Get out of here and don't come back!"

"Did I pass?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. just get out!"

Pablo's next lesson was at 2:00, so he went to the Orc's bar and had a couple of glasses of Jack Daniels and Cherry Pepsi.

* * *

As he sauntered into the next lesson, "Use of references", Pablo wondered how these classes last more than a few hours. He realised that the teaching probably wasn't very good, as the lecturers weren't trained, they were simply well-known characters. This would mean that the whole year could be highly condensed into around two hours with a competent teacher. His pondering of the logistics of the university's recruitment process was disturbed by the lecturer beginning the lesson.

"Hello everyone, I'm Mr Claypole, please call me Tim. So, we'll start with..." He stopped, noticing that a hand was already up. "What?"

"How do I finish this class in this lesson. I don't need to be here and I just want to go." Pablo said, emboldened by his earlier success and the two ounces of Jack Daniels slowly working their way through his system.

"I guess I'll quiz you. Everyone else read through the lesson plans on your desks." Mr claypole seemed to be having fun, probably anticipating a cocky student who thought he was really smart, but actually knew nothing. "You, come down here."

Pablo got up, took all his things and walked down the few steps.

"Right," Mr Claypole started, "First question, what are the three types of references in a fanfiction?"

"The most well known is the obvious references to the media which everyone knows, usually memes or dumb quotes, like 'allons y'," Pablo started, "Then there are the more hidden references to the media, such as briefly mentioned dates and bits of dialogue, then you have the really obscure ones, like using elements from really old TV shows that the reader's parents may know."

Mr Claypole was stunned, but recovered almost instantly, a smirk appearing on his face. "What's the perfect ratio of the three kinds?"

Pablo kept a blank look on his face, "It really comes down to personal preference, but I think that one or two of the more obvious ones can help get people in the mind frame of the media, while too many can seem like either pandering, or a writer who knows the show from hearing snippets on the internet. You can have more "genius bonus" references, as long as they are well hidden and fit in better with the writing, only being obvious enough for a super geek to pick up on. The really unknown references should only be used sparingl, as they can take a reader out of the story and cause them to open a new tab and search for thing like 'Rent-a-ghost'."

"Look," Mr claypole said, "You can leave, but first there's some news I have to tell you all," He turned to the rest of the class, "I was going to tell you this at the end, but I guess now's as good a time as ever. There's going to be a masquerade ball this evening. You all have formal clothes in your rooms chosen to suit you perfectly, as well as a mask to show your personality. Music will be provided by some of the most well known literary musicians. I hear the phantom of the opera sings a haunting melody." He turned back to Pablo, "You pass, just go."

Pablo entered the student reception. Bella looked up and bit her lip, "Oh, hi. How can I help?"

"Yeah, the books we all got. Can I get another one? You can take the first one back if you want."

"Oh, you're Pablo right?" She asked, not waiting for the answer, " I heard you pissed One off then let him choose everything for you. I'm sory, but you only get the one book."

"But I'm already done, is there any way I could get another? Maybe you could organise a swap with another student."

"Wait," She furrowed her brow, "You finished it?"

"Yeah, I was bored during freshers week. Was I not supposed to read it?"

"You finished Jane Austin's completed works in a week?"

"Half."

She shook her head, "I'll ask One what to do, but I can't promise anything. Come back tomorrow."

Pablo left and decided that now seemed like a good time to go to Orc's and have a couple of pints.

Pablo woke up in his bed, with no memory of anything past his fourth pint of cheap American lager. His head was in a small amount of pain, making Pablo thank his stars that, even when drunk, he knew to drink a pint of water in between every two pints of beer.

* * *

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yes Daigon, my alcohol induced amnesia is a symptom of being just perfect."

"First lesson is in half an hour."

"Cool, I'll get ready now, then wait for fifteen minutes." Pablo said sarcastically. He waited for a few seconds and decided to do exactly what he'd said he would.

As he entered the lecture hall, Pablo thought to find out what class he was walking into. He took out his timetable. "Four act structure". Pablo walked in and saw a man in exquisite Elizabethan garb.

"Right all of you, why don't you sit down? I'm Edmund Blackadder, The Lord Blackadder. Heir to the Duchy of Edinburgh. This lesson will be a brief overview of the four act structure. First, I've heard that one of you thinks he's a little genius. Pablo Fawkes? Stand up." Blackadder looked down his nose at Pablo as he rose from is seat. "So, you're the little worm who thinks he knows how to write eh? Why don't you give the rest of the class a brief rundown on what the four act structure is"

Pablo looked around and gave the shortest explanation he could, "First act: set up to event. Second act: event and rise tension. Third act: build to climax. Fourth act: resolve."

Blackadder looked at Pablo blankly, then looked up to the biggest cluster of students sitting together, "Everyone else read the sheets of paper on your desks," He said, then turned back to stare straight at Pablo, "You, come down here right now!"

Pablo walked down the steps and came to the lecturer, "What's up?"

"What do you think you are doing?"

"Look, I don't need to be here. There's been some mistake in the system or something. If you just pass me, I'll go and you can get on with actually teaching."

Blackadder pondered this, "Well, it is not my fault, and you seem to know what you're talking about. I guess I could. As long as you talk to the head about this."

"I have an appointment in a few days."

"Right, tell him I put up a fuss about you leaving early."

"Will do, Your Lordship."

Pablo walked to Orc's for a little hair of the dog.

* * *

Soon, Pablo was due to go to his next class, Shipping, With a Mr Richards. Pablo wondered if he was going to have a competent teacher in the form of Reed Richards, Mr Fantastic. Pablo then realised that he had just jinxed it and, if fanfiction universities lived up to their name, he would now definitely have the worst teacher yet.

He walked into a small room. At the front, he saw a man with a white shirt, blue jeans pulled up to his belly-button and oily hair. The man, Mr Richards, turned around and saw Pablo.

"Ooh, wearing a shirt and tie? I bet you're a little teacher's pet. I bet all the teachers just looove you!"

Pablo sighed, "Actually, the general reaction seems to be the opposite."

"What, did you kiss their arse too much?" Mr Richards laughed and snorted.

"No, I showed them that I am at least a half-way decent writer."

Mr Richards screwed up his face. "Right, prove it. Tell the class when it is acceptable to ship two characters!"

Pablo looked bored. "If two characters are really close," He said, in a dull monotone, "you could add a dimension to their interactons with a romance. Alternatively, the same can be said of enemies. Really, fanfiction is creative writing, and any strict rules that restrict your writing can stifle the creative spark that resides in all of our brains."

Mr Richards sneered at Pablo, "Get out of my class right now."

"Did I pass?"

"No," Mr Richards began screeching at Pablo, "You did not pass! Get out of my classroom right now! I'm reporting this to the head right now you little shit!"

Pablo walked out and strolled to the reception.

Pablo walked into the reception and saw Bella looking vaguely flustered. Or hungry, Bella wasn't good at conveying emotion.

"Hey, did you manage to get me a new book?"

"Oh, Pablo! No. I haven't been able to. But, the Head asked to see you. I'll take you to his office."

Pablo followed her through the intricate corridors. After a short walk, they reached two big mahogany doors. Bella knocked. When the reply of "Come in" came, she gestured to Pablo to enter, and briskly walked back to her work area.

Pablo walked into the room. In front of him, a meter away, was a large wooden desk. Dan Howell was sitting behind it.

"Hey, Pablo! Please, sit down," he motioned to the chair opposite him.

Pablo walked to the chair and sat down.

"Pablo," Dan sighed, "Why are you here?"

"The office or the university?"

"Let's start with the office."

"My lecturers thought I was unable to write and disliked me proving them wrong."

Dan opened a drawer beind the desk. He pulled out a stack of papers. He looked down at the drawer indecisively, looked at the three inch stack of papers, and pulled out a bottle of Jameson whiskey.

"So, Pablo, Why are you at the university?"

Pablo looked Dan in the eyes, "I challenge myself to write the worst stories I can, while also using creative ideas. It seems I'm a little too convincing."

Dan wiped his face with his hand, "How many people do you think say that?"

"Dan, ask my lecturers, I passed all of the classes in less than a single lesson. Except for Shipping, altough I'd hazard a guess that that's why I'm here right now. Which Reminds me, Lord Blackadder told me that he put up quite a fuss when he let me pass."

Dan took a glass and poured himself a double-shot of whiskey. "Pablo, this chunk of paper is all of the mistakes in your stories. Are you genuinely trying to tell me that all of these are intentional?"

"No, just most of them. Read one of the stories and tell me that the mistakes don't add humour. Dan, I'm working on a serious, actually good fanfiction now. I've just started, but I'm pretty sure it'll be good. If that one is shit, just bring me back for the mistakes in that one."

Dan sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, then downed his whiskey. "Sure, go"

* * *

Pablo woke up. It was early morning. He got up and walked to his laptop. it was still on. He saved the draft of his next fanfiction and opened a new document.

He wrote a title.

"The Official Fanfiction University of Assorted Media."

He walked to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. As he walked he noticed that suddenly he was moving in a downwards trajectory, passing by a pinkish light. At his confusion, he was then falling through an exceptionally blue sky.


	2. Pablo in Equestria

Pablo walked into his kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. As he walked he noticed that suddenly he was moving in a downwards trajectory, passing by a pinkish light. To his complete and utter confusion, he was then falling through an exceptionally bright blue sky.

Pablo was relieved to see that the sudden downward movement he had found himself in had been stopped slowly. He had a slight pain under his armpits where he had been stopped a little too suddenly at the beginning.

A few minutes later he was placed down on his feet. He looked to whatever had saved him, expecting the worst. He felt a slight shock as he saw a small cyan pegasus with a shock of rainbow hair on its head and tail.

He stepped back at the shock that his bad luck hadn't embodied itself as a lovecraftian creature that would drive him instantly insane after being saved from death.

"Oh, are you okay?" The pony said, "Where did you even come from?"

Pablo had read enough poorly written fanfiction to understand what was going to go on here. It was at this point that he realised that, even with this amazing opportunity to find out a lot about magic and the intrinsic nature of reality through interacting with beings that he thought of as fictional, all he really wanted to do was go home and eat his breakfast.

"Oh no, did you get brain damage from the fall? How many hooves am I holding up?" Rainbow Dash said, worried at the prolonged silence.

"I'm from a different universe, none of the details I know really matter. Which way to Twilight Sparkle?"

"Uh, just walk that way into town and ask for more directions when you see another pony. Hey, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be better when I get my cereal."

Pablo walked towards the obnoxiously coloured houses and shops. He passed a shop selling a multitude of beautiful looking flowers. Pablo saw a pony working there and remembered hearing that the best people to go to for directions were workers in small shops like this, as you knew they would definitely be both polite and local.

"Excuse me, which way should I go to get to Twilight Sparkle's place of residence?" He asked, putting on his nicest, and most fake, façade.

"AAAAAAA, A MONSTER!" replied the flower arranging pony, running at full speed in whichever direction lead furthest away from the bipedal, hairless, ape that had just imitated the equine language to her, no doubt as a ruse to pull her into a false sense of security. She ran and ran, telling every pony she saw to leave their belongings and escape from Ponyville.

"Perfect," Pablo sighed, "That's exactly what I wanted to happen."

Pablo walked the streets looking for any signs of life. A single pony's screams seemed to be very effective at evacuating a town here. As he turned a corner near a large pink building, which was next to several other, smaller, pink buildings, Pablo saw a pink blur shooting towards him.

"Are you the monster, you don't look like a monster, can you speak, well, all animals and creature can talk in some way or another, but can you speak equine, because I heard you can, but can you understand it, or do you just say it like a parrot?"

"Jesus Christ, shut up. I woke up, like, 30 minutes ago, then I fell into the sky. I just want my cereal."

"You don't make sense, mister" Pinkie said, about to leave.

"Wait, I need to get to Twilight Sparkle, only she can help me." Pablo said, raising his hand to emphasize his desperation.

"Sure, I was going to go there anyway." She lead him down a few winding streets.

A few minutes passed, as Pablo thought.

"Sorry, I'm just thinking about something, do you mind If I think out loud for a second?" Pablo asked

"Go for it, I want to hear how a monster thinks."

"Well, I'm not a monster, I'm a human. This is Ponyville in Equestria, right?"

"Yep-a-doodle."

"Well, where I'm from, this is the setting of a children's cartoon about friendship and life lessons and all that dumb shit. That's how I know to go to Twilight."

Pinkie Pie stopped walking and thought about this as Pablo continued on, walking straight ahead, deep in his own contemplation.

"But, if I'm here, then this couldn't possibly just be a cartoon, it must be it's own reality. But, does that mean that all cartoons have their own universes, and is every universe a cartoon to another universe? What do you think?" He turned to look at his walking companion, who happened to not be with him.

"Great, how am I going to find my way now?"

Fluttershy put down a special treat for her special pet, Angel bunny. He really liked carrots, but Fluttershy knew that too many can be bad for a bunny. Unfortunately she had to learn this the hard way, but now she knew better, and Angel wouldn't need to deal with that again. Just as she placed it down, she heard a familiar bouncing sound. She turned her head and saw, as expected, a pink pony bounding towards her.

"Hey, Pinkie," she said, trying to get her friend's attention

Pinkie looked down to Fluttershy, "Oh, hey Flutters. Reality isn't real. Did you know we're all in a cartoon?"

"Pinkie, what are you talking about?"

Pinkie stopped bouncing, landing on the spot the had previously been filled with Angel. She looked down at the blood.

"Oops, anyway, this tall hairless ape told me that he's from the real reality, and this is all just a kids cartoon. Nothing we do really matters. Gotta go."

Fluttershy looked down at the spot that had been her pet rabbit, and the paste that had been his carrot. She then realised that all of Pinkie's nonsensical ramblings must have been her subconscious telling her that this was a dream. Yes, that was it, nothing more than a simple dream. She decided to walk into town. As she was now lucid, she could do anything. She wanted the town to be completely clear. If this was accurate, it would only be further proof that this was nothing more than a silly old dream.

Pablo had been wandering around the small town for about fifteen minutes before he stumbled upon an extremely large tree in the middle of the street, with a door and windows. He walked up and knocked on the door. When it opened, a small purple reptile stood before him.

"TWILIGHT, THE MONSTER IS HERE" The dragon screamed before running away from the perceived threat

"I'm not a monster." Pablo replied to the space that Spike no longer occupied. He was starting to get tired of being called a monster.

Fluttershy walked through the empty streets of her dream. She noticed that this was very realistic, even for a lucid dream. The apples even tasted exactly right. Fluttershy remembered that she had been told that you can't read in a dream. She decided to test this out by going to Twilight's library and trying to read one of the books.

Pinkie Pie was bouncing down by Sweet Apple Acres. Everyone seemed to have gone away, faster than a standard evacuation, even though everypony had decided to leave by routes nowhere near the farm. It was at this point that it dawned on Pinkie that her actions must have caused the cartoon executives to cancel the show. That must be where everyone had gone to. She would need to go to the main stage of the show and make a plea to the creators. As every adventure so far had been based somehow around Twilight, she needed to go there and make a good argument to the suits as to why she should stay on the air.

Pablo was enjoying a small package of tiny cookies that he found in his back pocket. He lazily pushed them into his mouth as Twilight and Spike looked through several books on the subject of interdimensional travel. Unfortunately, it was becoming very apparent that there were no forms of magic that would allow you to both choose you destination and stay there indefinitely.

"Hey, you're doing a really good job," Pablo said, in between cookies, "Keep it up."

"Look, we have lots of books to look though. If you want this to go faster, you could always help us." Twilight replied, magically flipping through another book.

"You are a librarian and a researcher. If I thought anyone could be good at looking through books, it would be you. Now, chop chop!" Pablo continued to eat his snacks.

Twilight sighed as she put the current book down onto a small pile behind her and picked another up with the lavender glow of her magic.

"WAIT! STOP!" A shrill voice squeaked loudly, "I can't let you take my world off the air!"

Pablo looked towards the door and saw a bright pink pony looking up at the ceiling, staring at nothing in particular.

"I know I live in a cartoon, but please let us stay. I swear, I'll keep this a secret. Pinkie promise!"

Pablo stared at her. He was now sure that his bad luck had recently decided to be more creative with it's fuckery.

"Pinkie, you aren't a cartoon character." He sighed.

"But you said..."

"I said that where I'm from, there's a cartoon like this. If you'd have fucking listened, I also said that this is definitely not a cartoon, because I'm here, so it's its own universe. Why can nobody listen to me?"

Pinkie looked down at her hooves. "But, where is everypony?"

"They evacuated because they though I was a monster! You already knew that! That's why I had to rely on you to get me here. Nice job, by the way."

As they cleared up that subplot, Fluttershy walked in, dragging her own behind her.

"Oh, hi everyone. I just want to test something. Wait right there, and I'll talk with you in a second," Fluttershy said, striding to a bookshelf.

Pablo stared at her then quickly looked to Twilight. "You heard her, get back to your books."

"Hey, what are you doing, Fluttershy?" Twilight said, seeing her friend walk to the bookshelf holding the less savory novels.

"Twilight, she said to leave her alone. Get back to the books. Jesus Christ."

"Pablo, why are you telling me, but not Spike? Is this a race thing, or a gender thing?"

"It's a, "Spikes doing his fucking job, but you aren't" thing, dipshit. You've trained spike to be a good servant. You, however, might need to take a leaf out of your slave's book to learn how to be a good public servant."

"Nope. No more. Spike, stop what you're doing. We'll let Pablo wait until he can learn some manners." Twilight scowled at Pablo and walked to Fluttershy, who was entirely engrossed in her book.

"Fluttershy, is everything okay? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I thought I said to wait for me to be finished over here. Is my lucidity fading out or something?"

Twilight cocked an eyebrow, "Fluttershy, do you think you're dreaming right now?"

"Yes. Why else would Pinkie have stomped on Angel bunny and told me reality wasn't real? Obviously that was my subconscious telling me I'm dreaming."

Pablo looked over at the yellow pony. "Pinkie thought your entire world was a cartoon that was being cancelled. Your rabbit's dead and you just read a porno book in front of your friends. Twilight, if you would please get back to the books, I would happily shut up until I've left."

Fluttershy's eyes welled up. "A-Angel? Pinkie, why?" That was all she could get out before she began crying heavily.

As Fluttershy broke down, two people who held themselves like agents burst in and pointed seemingly highly advanced guns straight at Pablo.


	3. Pablo of the Plot Continuum

Fluttershy began crying heavily. As this happened, two ponies, who looked an awful lot like agents, burst in and pointed seemingly highly advanced guns straight at Pablo. The one on the left had a hot pink coat with a bright green mane, while the one on the right had a maroon coat and a bright cerulean mane. The one on the right walked forwards a few steps.

"Pablo Arthur Fawkes, you are under arrest for crimes against the continuity!"

Pablo sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Look, right now isn't the best time. Anyway, all of my fics are Speculative AU, which isn't under PPC jurisdiction."

"Sorry, Pablo, this is too close to canon. I gotta take you in."

"What? I fell down a fucking portal! Check my account, this isn't a story. Anyway, do I look like the type of guy to write a self-insert?"

The pink agent checked his device, "Hey, Sarge, It says here that there was a cosmic disturbance. It looks like a wormhole between here and Pablo's place of residence."

The maroon mare looked at Pablo, "This could be part of your fic. How many fics do you think we come across that have this same plot point? Sorry, charges still stand, we're taking you in."

"You know what?" Pablo stood straight in defience, "I've actually been wanting to speak to you. Now, I don't know what your tech crap tells you, but it is literally impossible for fics to change canon. The books that have been sold don't change, the re-runs aren't suddenly different. The only reason you don't touch speculative AUs is because you can't claim we're trying to change the main canon. Well, all fics are speculative AU. That's the nature of fanfiction, fuckface."

"Look, I don't get paid to listen to Mary-sues talk about how they don't believe me."

"I can fucking prove I haven't changed shit," Pablo said before walking towards Fluttershy, "This is pre-Twilight's crystal playset, obviously. Well, Fluttershy's pet rabbit died in this universe. That never happened in the show. Angel is in the show after Tirek turns up! You can check the re-runs and bring me in if it's different. Right now, you can't prove shit."

The Maroon pony looked defeated, "Pablo, I came here to pick you up, not to get some philosophy lesson."

"I'll shut up if you take me home right now."

"Fine..."

The two PPC agents took Pablo back home. The maroon pony looked Pablo straight in the eyes and told him to try not to go to any other universes. Pablo said he'd try his best.

Pablo walked back to his computer and changed the file name from "Fanfiction university" to "The Pablo Fawkes Series".

He turned around and walked towards his kitchen, checking the floor for cosmic disturbances. He got to his kitchen, and pulled out the box of well-deserved Ricicles. He poured them into a bowl. He walked to the fridge and opened the door.

No milk


	4. Pablo-natural

Pablo walked towards the shop nearest to where he lived. It was a small corner shop owned by a nice Indian family. They had a tendency to severely mark up the prices, as most small family owned shops do. As Pablo walked in the door, he noticed that the owners young children were there. It must have been a school holiday. He walked to the milk. He decided that he deserved full fat, so he grabbed the milk with the blue top.

Pablo's vision blurred as everything around him seemed to become encompassed by a bright light. A voice began to fade into his range of hearing, growing louder as the light became brighter.

"Constituat daemon ad vicinitatem. Volumus enim creatura quae mala voluntate. Eaque militia est satanas est. Nos orandi nullum dicis. Haec cum translata in Penitus. Hoc probabiliter est falsa. Ave, satanam aliosque aliis geniis. Sepeli aurum!"

As the last word boomed in Pablo ears he looked up and noticed that he was no longer in the corner shop. Instead, he seemed to be in a warehouse, surrounded by what looked like devil worshipers. They wore dark robes and all held candles.

Suddenly a gruff voice boomed from the back of the large room. "You guys should put those in holders, the wax will get on your hands. Trust me, not something you want."

Two oddly large men walked out holding shotguns and torches. They wore boots, jeans and an amount of flannel that Pablo had never seen outside of a "most stereotypical lesbian" contest. The one who had spoken before, the only slightly above-average sized human with a voice like ten chainsmokers, continued.

"You think this is a playground? I have ten ways to send you straight back to the cage, so stop looking at me like we've never met, Lucy. And get out of that weird form, you look like a scaled up homunculus!"

Pablo realized that the lantern-jawed man was talking to him.

"I honestly have no idea what's goin... Are you Jensen Ackles?"

"Jensen Ackles? How do you know about fake-me?" He replied, looking sterner than before.

"Great," Pablo sighed, "Hey, Dean, I'm from another universe where Supernatural is a TV show. But not the one you went to, because that was another episode. I need to go back. Little help?"

One of the devil worshipers looked at Pablo, then back at Dean, "We summoned this creature. He is the most evil in all of creation!"

"Actually," Sam interjected, "He's the most pompous. You were working with a grimour with a slight mistranslation."

"Hey, fuck you, Padalecki!" Pablo whined. He could take a lot of things, but being called pompous was not one of them.

"Whatever. We have guns, you robed dipwads go back to your homes. If we find out you have done this again, we'll come and shoot you. And leave the magic book."

"Wow, Dean, nice threat. Real creative. How about next time you take their lunch money" Pablo berated him.

"Whatever. We'll free you from the devil's trap when Sam gets back with a ladder. in the mean time..."

Pablo walked towards Dean, outside the trap, "I'm not a demon, Deano, I'm a guy from a different universe, 'member. What season is this? From Sam's hair, I guess seven."

"Look, you pompous douche. We have questions. You have answers."

"No I fucking don't, those cocksuckers summoned me here."

"Woah, easy on the cursing." Dean looked shocked, as if he hadn't heard someone swear that much in a month.

"You live on the road, kill monsters and have frequent casual sex, the 'family business' and you have an aversion to swearing? Why? It's just words. Come on, say fuck."

"Come on, what does this have to do with anything?

"Call me a fucking cunt and I'll tell you my name and offer a solution."

"You are a... fucking... cunt."

"There we go, was that so hard? Anyway, I'm Pablo."

"What's you solution?" Sam cut in.

"Is Cas around?"

"Sure." The brothers both replied.

"Well, pull him out of Dean's arse for a sec and get him to put me back where I came from. I'm getting pretty fucking sick of getting pulled around all willy-nilly."

Dean looked at Sam, who raised his eyebrows, as if telling Dean to give it a shot. Dean clasped his hands together.

"Oh great and holy Castiel. Please grace us by getting your tight little ass down here."

"Destiel..." Pablo said, under his breath.

Just as Dean finished his prayer, a whoosh sound told of the presence of a figure in a long coat. His sudden appearance seemed almost like a cut used to prevent the need for a higher special effects budget.

"Dean, how can I help?"

"I'm from another universe. Can you put me back?" Pablo interjected.

"Sure." Castiel said, walking towards Pablo with two out-stretched fingers. He tapped Pablo's forehead and Pablo found himself back in the shop.

Pablo bought four pints of full fat milk and left, promising the owner that he would try to keep his inter-dimensional travel to a minimum whilst inside the shop.

As he walked home, he bumped into a man who looked like he had been hitch-hiking for several years. As he bumped into the man, he saw a flash of light that, while not blinding or even uncomfortably bright, caught him off guard.

He found himself in a strange place that seemed like a cross between a truck-stop and an Irish pub.


End file.
